DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

Jon Carroll tried a vegan restaurant (Café Gratitude), and was surprised to find that he likes it.

I confess to having had what Herbert Spencer would have called “contempt prior to investigation” about the word “vegan,” the concept of veganism and vegans themselves. Vegans, I figured, were people who were too snotty to be vegetarians.

He describes a particular, typically peculiar vegan restaurant, vents a few opinions on the matter, then finally gets to the texturized vegetable protein (aka “meat”) of the matter:

So then the food came. And here’s the truth, my beloved readers: I came to scoff and stayed to cheer… You know all those vegans who say, “No, really, it tastes good.” They actually have a point.

Certainly that’s true of Roxanne’s.

At the other end of the culinary spectrum comes news of “The Stonner,” a “1000 calorie, deep fried pork sausage kebab [that] has been dubbed the most dangerous fast food in Britain.” (“Stonner” is Scottish slang for erection. Had the Stonner been invented in the US, it would have been called a “tube steak.” Or, maybe, “McBoner.”) The inventor claims sales are, err, rising.

The inventor can be credited not only with the original idea of wrapping a pork sausage in a doner kebab, dipping the mess in batter and frying it. He also takes credit for naming it “the most dangerous supper in Scotland,” indicating that he knows more about marketing than he does about cooking.

(A tip of the toque to reader Chris Thompson, who reliably informs me of all new developments in the fried meat scene.)

When we visited Vancouver a few weeks ago, we stayed with a friend who lives one block off of Commercial Drive — a street that contains more culture in any three-block span than any three Midwestern states. I didn’t take any photos, so you’ll have to make do with a thousand words… these are the types of restaurants I jotted down on the back of a business card as we drove past:

Carribean/Jamaican, Greek, Greek & pizza, pita, Mexican, taverna, Italian, deli, Java Express, chocolates, cappucino, gelato, cakes, tandoori, sushi, Salvadoran/Mexican, vegetarian/vegan, donair, taco, bagel, vegetarian Indian, tapas, juice bar.

That’s not a complete index… I couldn’t write fast enough. Literally every storefront represented a different type of cuisine.

Our host called this strip “The Drive,” capitals evident, in a tone of reverence. Within 24 hours I felt the same. We ate Asian/fusion, gelato, Brazilian, and multi-ethnic vegan sandwiches within the span of five meals (and three blocks).

The Drive has its own website: thedrive.net. Although the design is dated, the site’s content provides a model for the way shopping-district websites ought to be: indexed via map (for spatial navigators) and category… with panoramic photos and still photos.

The Drive is anchored at the north end by Womyns Ware, a lesbian sex shop. It appeared as we drove by that the store’s outside walls feature larger-than-life-size murals of enormous naked women (sorry, womyn) dancing with arm-sized “dills.” I am not part of the store’s customer demographic, but I appreciated its very public existence: alternative-lifestyle stores suggest a high degree of local tolerance. Like San Francisco, Vancouver seems to have no closets. Commercial Drive felt a bit like Haight Street, with better food and fewer shoe shops.

Bringing Down the House is a nonfiction story that reads like a modern-day adventure. Its appeal to programmers and engineers is undeniable: how often can a bunch of math geeks metamorphose into celebrities, playing high-stakes blackjack every weekend and walking away with millions? If the story weren’t true, it wouldn’t be nearly as interesting, because nobody would believe it.

The book’s author, Ben Mezrich, published an adaptation and preview in Wired last year: Hacking Las Vegas: The Inside Story of the MIT Blackjack Team’s Conquest of the Casinos

Blackjack team? Now that’s a productive extracurricular. I spent most of my college years in the marching band; I got blisters, bloody knuckles, and back pain. I got to travel to rural Pennsylvania by bus. I don’t think anybody is basing real-life adventure stories about it. Oh, also, I didn’t make a million dollars.

Mezrich’s book is a great, quick read. If it doesn’t turn into a big Hollywood movie, I’ll be surprised; it has the requisite elements: scrappy underdogs, sinister casino staff, paybacks, greed, sex.

Some reviewers (e.g. at Amazon) complain about the “pulpy” writing style, both diction and characterization. I am sensitive to lousy writing, but nothing here bothered me. I’m sure Mezrich took license in his recreation of events. I don’t consider that “news.”

Some people might want to read this as a how-to manual on gambling. Although the MIT Blackjack team’s method seems to be clearly explained, I doubt the Vegas casinos are vulnerable to such attacks any longer. Mezrich explains some of their counter-measures, e.g. continuous reshuffling machines. The MIT team’s approach was genius, in that it targeted a specific vulnerability, but now that that vulnerability has been exposed, it’s unlikely to be exploitable again.

I recommend the book to anyone who reads escapist fiction — this is escapist nonfiction, and somehow more thrilling for it.

Patronize these links, man:

• Amazon (paperback)

The city of Oakland, California has a “Sustainability Director.” How cool is that?

Mayor Jerry Brown hired Randy Hayes, the founder of the Rainforest Action Network to a part-time, paid position to draft a plan to reduce the city’s impact on the environment.

Hayes envisions an Oakland that recycles all of its trash by 2020, is fully powered by alternative energy by 2030 and has drastically reduced its greenhouse gas emissions by 2050.

Here’s the original press release describing Hayes’ appointment.

Months in the making (or, mostly, months in the waiting)… SmartyPants-PHP v.1.5.1 is now available.