DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

Having a baby has done nothing to cure me of my mail-order lifestyle. In the past two years I’ve used the web to research — and purchase — hundreds of varieties of diapers, strollers, cribs, toys, and, as a new but somewhat aging father, hair-replacement products.

We don’t order from companies that don’t have reasonable privacy policies. And we always opt out of list-sharing and affiliate solicitations at the time of the order.

Nonetheless, recent weeks have brought a spate of unfamiliar catalogs pimping thousands of overwraught, battery-powered kid toys, e.g. the “John Deere® Real Sounds Lawn Mower.” Why? Why? Why?

I always call. I always have my name removed from the mailing list. I always ask where they got my name in the first place — although unfortunately 90% of vendors are unable or unwilling to tell me; customer acquisition generally happens in a dark room staffed by marketing trolls who have had their tongues removed lest they divulge the sekrit source of potential future revenues.

But today, a helpful operator at Sensational Beginnings revealed that they’d purchased my name and address from One Step Ahead, a catalog and website vendor we previously trusted.

The privacy policy at OneStepAhead.com reads:

We use third party companies to help us provide our products and services to you. Some of these companies are given access to some, or all, of the information you provide to us and may use cookies on our behalf. These companies are contractually restricted from using your information in any manner, other than in helping us to provide you with the products and services available on our site. For more information, including how to opt out, please go to: http://www.coremetrics.com/info_eluminate2.html. Occasionally, we allow other carefully screened companies to mail their catalog to our customers’ physical addresses. If you do not wish to be included, please let us know by email at questions@onestepahead.com.

What One Step Ahead doesn’t mention is that these “carefully screened companies” in turn sell OneStepAhead’s customers’ addresses too. This is not a temporary list rental, as the above policy implies.

So, if you’ve purchased something from One Step Ahead, you’ll soon receive a few catalogs from the “carefully screened” companies One Step Ahead sold your address to. Then, a few months later, you’ll receive a few more catalogs from companies who purchased your name from the companies One Step Ahead sold your address to. “And they told two friends, and they told two friends, and they told two friends,” like the old shampoo commercial.

You may not mind the full mailbox, but you might mind the waste: more dead trees, more toxic chemicals from paper bleaching, more heavy metal dyes from printing, more toxic truck exhaust from hauling extra weight to your mailbox, more glossy pages blowing around the local landfill. And for what? So OneStepAhead can make an extra ten cents from your account. Feh.

Here’s a good deed for Earth Day: stop doing business with One Step Ahead.

Apple made a big splash with its iPod Shuffle, the primary feature of which is that it allows users to listen to a playlist in random order:

Random is the New Order

Welcome to a life less orderly. As official soundtrack to the random revolution, the iPod Shuffle Songs setting takes you on a unique journey through your music collection — you never know what’s around the next tune. Meet your new ride. More roadster than Rolls, iPod shuffle rejects routine by serving up your favorite songs in a different order every time.

But here’s the thing they don’t tell you: random order can suck. Sure, your collection of Matchbox 20 or Prince songs can be played back-to-front, in alphabetical order, sorted by length, randomly, or, my favorite, not at all. It scarcely matters.

But if your CD collection looks like this:

…then you’re going to want to listen to songs in album order, the way God and progressive rock musicians intended. (Yes, I grew up with vinyl.)

Fortunately, iTunes can reveal the dark neglected corners of your iTunes Music Library without forcing you to suffer indignities like listening to “Thick as a Brick (pt. 2)” before “Thick as a Brick (pt. 1).” It’s a feature called “Smart Playlists,” which is a way to make a playlist whose contents change moment-to-moment based on criteria you define. In this particular case, the important criteria is to called “Least Recently Played.”

Because iTunes keeps track of the time you’ve most recently played each song in the library, it’s a simple matter to find the ones you haven’t heard in a long time, or more to the point, in the longest time.

So, for the past couple days I’ve been enjoying many hours of music I ripped in 2003-2004 but haven’t listened to since. It’s an equal-opportunity playlist. And it’s a nice break from the stuff I seem to listen to every two days.

So, I feel like a shill for Office Depot, but I really think this is a great promotion. Office Depot is solving two problems for me at once: they’re recycling my used inkjet cartridges, and they’re giving me free printer paper.

Hmm, is it safe to assume Office Depot is really recycling these cartridges? I hope so.

Update, 2007-02-06: Never mind; Office Depot’s inkjet cartridge recycling program has begun to suck.

I now know way more than I ever thought I would about chopping and sectioning a 1956 Studebaker pickup truck, courtesy the instructional DVD my brother made with metalworking expert Ron Covell.

Who knew there’s such a thing as welding geeks?

(Yes, this is the same brother that built my custom longboard foot pedals, and my Camaro.)

I need more input channels. My DAW, a Digidesign 002-Rack, has 4 mic pres, 4 line ins, and a bunch of digital inputs I’ve never tried to use because I had no other digital gear.

I’ve been able to maximize the inputs on the 002 via an external analog mixing board, a Mackie 1604, which has 16 of Mackie’s VLZ Pro mic pre’s. In a nutshell, I can use the mixer to combine multiple mics into fewer channels, e.g.: mic 4 toms individually via the Mackie, mix them to stereo, and therefore only consume two of the 8 analog inputs on the 002-Rack. I can effectively mic my kit this way, e.g.: two kick mics (mixed to mono), two snare mics, hi-hat, stereo overheads, stereo room mics. Or: kick, snare, hi-hat, stereo overheads, stereo toms, mono room mic.

Both these approaches, and their varations, are adequate. But for better control, and more options at mixdown, I’d rather capture two kick mics, two snare mics, individual tom mics, plus all the other stereo stuff, and maybe a mic in the stairwell too. You know how it goes.

There are a number of new products that are designed with me in mind: lots of mic pre’s, digital output. After surveying the market I narrowed my choices to two:

• Mackie Onyx 800R
• Focusrite Octopre LE

Feature-wise, they’re very similar:

 +------------+------+------+--------+----------+--------+--------+--------------+
 |                   | Line | Direct | Line     | Phase  | High   |   Phantom    |
 |            | Pres | Ins  |  Ins   | Outs     |Reverse | Pass   |    Power     |
 +------------+------+------+--------+----------+--------+--------+--------------+
 |  Onyx 800R |  8   |  2/8 |   2    | Via DB25 |   8    |   8    |    Indiv.    |
 | Octopre LE |  8   |   8  |   2    |    8     |   1    |   8    | All or none  |
 +------------+------+------+--------+----------+--------+--------+--------------+
 +------------+-------+-------+-----------+-----------+-------+-------+--------------+----------+
 |            |  Word Clock   |           |   Sample  | ADAT Lightpipe| AES/EBU/SPDIF| Mid/Side |
 |            |  In   |  Out  | Bit Depth |   Rates   |  In   |  Out  |    Outputs   |  Decoder |
 +------------+-------+-------+-----------+-----------+-------+-------+--------------+----------+
 |  Onyx 800R |  BNC  |  n/a  |   16/24   | Up to 192 |  n/a  |  Yes  |      Yes     |    Yes   |
 | Octopre LE |  BNC  |  BNC  |     24    |  44.1/48  |  Yes  |  Yes  |      n/a     |    n/a   |
 +------------+-------+-------+-----------+-----------+-------+-------+--------------+----------+

The price difference is nontrivial — the 800R streets for $1000, whereas the Octopre costs $800 (including the ADAT card).

None of the feature differences seemed compelling. I love the idea of having a mid-side decoder (as on the 800R) because I’ve had issues with phase problems in stereo recording. However, I own only one figure-of-8 mic, a Beyer M-380, and it’s probably not suitable for the sorts of things I’d like to record via mid-side, e.g. my dulcimer.

I believe the Octopre is limited to 24-bit output, which I’d like to be able to use, but if my host or firewire drive can’t manage 13 channels @ 24 bit, I’d need to run at 16 bit. Or buy expensive new computer gear.

So, unable to decide, I bought one of each.

I’ve read positive reviews of both units, but I haven’t seen a head-to-head comparison, which is what I really wanted: sure, both pre’s sound great… but which sounds better?

Tune in for Part II…