DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I never signed the (Gov. Davis) recall petition, but I probably would have. Gray Davis always struck me as an ineffectual leader, better at winning elections than governing. His reputation for running dirty campaigns bothered me — according to reports in the Chronicle, Davis’ standard technique is to smear his opponents so badly that voters see no choice but to vote against them. In effect, Davis’ campaign methodology seems to be to make Davis the least of all available evils.

If he can’t run on his merits, I wondered, is it because he doesn’t have any?

I hoped that out of this large state, someone with real leadership ability would step up and win on a positive campaign. The structure of the recall meant that an outsider could win, without going through a traditional primary. In other words, somebody other than a party-line Republican or party-line Democrat could actually have a shot.

My favorite candidate was Arianna Huffington. Anybody who has written eight books in a non-native language must be smart, I thought. And then she challenged all candidates to weekly debates — which would give me the opportunity to see the candidates defend their platforms. I would learn firsthand who can speak clearly, think clearly, and persuade — three critical skills for an effective governor.

Also, she promoted energy conservation and the use of renewable resources. She said: “I will make the development of renewable energy sources a state priority, and work to reverse the disastrous decline in California’s air quality.” You’d have to be shortsighted to not be in favor of renewable energy.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Schwarzenegger announced his candidacy and immediately leapt to the front of the polls. The starstruck people of California have confused celebrity with political ability. Stories of crowds begging for autographs discourage me. I mean, I am entertained by his movies too, but do I want him determining the state’s financial and energy policies? No.

I’m most concerned about his stance on energy and the environment. For one thing, he drives a Hummer. As a conservationalist, I think this is brain-dead. He not only drives but celebrates the least efficient vehicle on the road today. What message does that send?

• I’m poisoning your air, but that’s OK because I look really cool.
• I’m increasing our dependency on foreign oil, but that’s OK because, err, I look really cool.
• I’m promoting waste, inefficiency, macho aggressiveness, and style over substance, but that’s OK because, ahh, I look really cool?

Arnold Schwarzenegger launched his campaign with claims that he is not a politician, and that he would not accept special-interest money. As far as I can tell, both claims are false.

He claimed that he is not a politician, presumably because voters are fed up with politicians (e.g. Gray Davis). What is it about politicians that citizens dislike? Here is my list, “the characteristics of politicians that inspire loathing”: lying, evasiveness, hypocrisy, abuse of power, cronyism, prioritizing fundraising over legislating, a focus on image and spin rather than truth or reality. With that checklist, let’s review Schwarzenegger’s campaign…

First, Schwarzenegger refused to participate in any debate in which he wasn’t given the questions first. I can only conclude that he was afraid he’d come across as bumbling or ineffective. Presumably his poll numbers were so strong that he didn’t want to risk his lead position by saying something dumb. But if he can’t handle a few opponents in a debate, how well will he handle himself in Sacramento?

Then he began accepting donations from special interests. He claimed these big corporate donors aren’t “special interests,” but that even if they are, he says, “I don’t promise anyone anything. There’s no strings attached to anything.” Basically he has taken the bribe but wants us to believe he is not beholden. But if he has already lied about taking the money, why should I trust him not to pay back the donation with attention and sympathetic legislation? I guarantee you those donors perceive the strings attached to that money.

Lately he’s been accused by 15 women of groping. I have a hard time caring about stuff that happened 20 years ago, but the volume of these complaints delineates a pattern. As recently as three years ago, Schwarzenegger allegedly groped a journalist during a publicity tour. That’s an abuse of power.

Schwarzenegger issued an early apology for this abuse, but when the reports continued to come in, he blamed the media.

For a non-politician, Schwarzenegger acts an awful lot like a politician. And I do mean “awful.” He promised change, but it’s already the same old dishonest, disrespectful story, and he is not even in office yet.

I’ve come full circle. I would have voted Davis out, but now I have to vote against the recall. I disliked Davis because of his smear campaigns, but now I’m thinking that more people need to know about Schwarzenegger’s dissembling. I’ll be voting for the lesser of two evils, and I resent both Schwarzenegger and Davis for putting me in this position.

The best outcome I can hope for is that Davis learned a lesson from this. Maybe he’ll be a better governor. If he manages to keep his office.

Today’s Chron contains a roundup of Recall humor: Hey, did you hear the one about the California recall election? My two favorites are:

Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal — change our state bird to the spread eagle.   — Craig Kilborn

It’s been reported that some of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s opponents have been circulating naked pictures of Arnold on the Internet. In a related story, Arnold is leading the other candidates by four inches.  — Conan O’Brien

Here’s a trio of eco-disasters taken from one day’s headlines. President Bush appears to be determined to poison as many of us as he can. I’m not real sure what the benefit is, to him or anyone. Maybe that’s why politics make me ill.

Coal-fired power plants’ upgrade provision to die; Utilities expected to save billions on anti-pollution devices

The Bush administration has decided to allow thousands of the nation’s dirtiest coal-fired power plants and refineries to upgrade their facilities without having to install costly anti-pollution equipment, as they now must do.

Bush official rallies support for logging legislation at Sonora summit

President Bush’s agriculture undersecretary came to California timber country Friday to rally support for legislation that would ease logging restrictions in the name of fire protection and forest health.

EPA misled public on 9/11 pollution; White House ordered false assurances on air quality, report says

In the aftermath of the Sept. 11, 2001, attack on the World Trade Center, the White House instructed the Environmental Protection Agency to give the public misleading information, telling New Yorkers it was safe to breathe when reliable information on air quality was not available…
[S]ome of the [EPA]’s news releases in the weeks after the attack were softened before being released to the public: Reassuring information was added, while cautionary information was deleted.

Or, in short, Bush is saying: you’ll have dirtier air, fewer trees to clean it, and we’ll lie to you about how sick you’ll get as a result.

FindLaw columnist John Dean presents an interesting analysis of the political implications of the missing WMDs in Iraq:

Before asking Congress for a Joint Resolution authorizing the use of American military forces in Iraq, [President Bush] made a number of unequivocal statements about the reason the United States needed to pursue [an act] of war against another nation… Now it is clear that many of his statements appear to be false.

If no Weapons of Mass Destruction will be found, Dean predicts, the scandal will be bigger than Watergate, which as you know resulted in the resignation of then-president Nixon. Read the full article here: Missing Weapons Of Mass Destruction: Is Lying About The Reason For War An Impeachable Offense? Here, as a teaser, is Dean’s conclusion:

To put it bluntly, if Bush has taken Congress and the nation into war based on bogus information, he is cooked.

Dean has a great perspective on presidential scandal — he was a part of the Watergate coverup, and served four months in prison as a result. (This historical factoid is not part of Dean’s FindLaw.com biography.)

Ralph Nader’s Citizen Works presents Vice-President Dick Cheney with their “Daddy Warbucks Award for eminence in corporate war profiteering” today.

In a nutshell, here are the events that earned Cheney the award:

• “Cheney, who served as [Halliburton] CEO from 1995 to 2000, continues to receive as much as $1 million a year in deferred compensation.”
• “The U.S. Army Corp of Engineers awarded a no-bid contract to extinguish oil well fires in Iraq to Kellogg Brown and Root (KBR), a subsidiary of Halliburton… The contract, which was not announced until more than two weeks after it was awarded, was open-ended, with no time limits and no dollar limits. It was also a “cost-plus” contract, meaning that the company is guaranteed to recover costs and then make a guaranteed profit on top of that. Its value is estimated at tens of millions of dollars.”

Congratulations, Vice-President Cheney!