DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

Bush said that Iraq is “hard work.” Protecting America is “hard work.” Fighting terrorists is “hard work.” Moving from tyranny to democracy is “hard work.” Moving from a place where people get their hands cut off to a place where people are free is “hard work.” Loving Missy Johnson is “hard work.” Getting the job done is “hard work.” Basically everything he’s done for 3.5 years is “hard work.”

I humbly submit this time-management tip to George W. Bush: if you hadn’t spent 42% of your Presidency on vacation, maybe it wouldn’t be so damn hard.

Statistically speaking, in fact, it would be 42% less hard. I guess that of these eight choices you could pick approximately three of them — they’re the ones that wouldn’t have been hard if you hadn’t been out cutting fenceposts or whatever.

• Iraq
• protecting America
• fighting terrorists
• moving from tyranny to democracy
• moving from a place where people get their hands cut off to a place where people are free
• loving Missy Johnson
• getting the job done
• basically everything he’s done for 3.5 years

Even if you take loving Missy Johnson, which frankly sounds a lot less hard than you make out, you’d have got some quality work done.

Here’s a practice incantation: “Laura, look, I’d love to spend this month at the ranch, but I figure if I stay here at the office and put in an honest couple weeks’ work, I could fight terrorists and protect America and possibly even get around to loving Missy Johnson.”