DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I used to consider myself apolitical. I was Republican by default, having been raised in a household where the word “Democrat” was frequently heard at dinner, immediately following the word “goddamn!” But I had an aversion to news. I didn’t educate myself about issues, and I felt strongly apathetic about the political process. I voted in the big elections, but only because that gave me the right to complain later.

George W. Bush changed all that. The past four years have provided a crash course in the danger of apathy.

For that, and only that, I thank President Bush. He made me realise what I care about. I have watched, and to a tiny degree documented the assaults on the environment by this administration, and I realized that what strikes me as common sense — “don’t poison yourself” — is remarkably uncommon in the White House.

I’ve paid a price for this education. To date, it’s cost me a sense of humor. And a couple hundred dollars in political contributions.

Last week, my senses hit overload. Whereas a few weeks ago I hung on every word, every fake smile, every grimace of the debates, now I can’t even bear to see a newspaper headline. I have pre-election anxiety. Every time someone mentions Diebold or Florida or the GOP, my stomach lurches. I feel like I’m sitting in the lobby of the oral surgeon’s office, waiting for my name to be called.

The Daily Show is getting lots of mileage from its Indecision 2004 joke. The Onion is running a piece on the Countdown to the Recount. Meanwhile, my stomach is doing (wait for it…) flip-flops.

I remember thinking, late in November 2000, that they should just give Bush the victory rather than dragging out the counterclaims. “It’s dangerous to not have a winner yet,” I thought, and “the rest of the world must think we’re incompetent. And anyway, how bad could he be?”