The house is completely dark and silent. It’s midnight. I’m sneaking into the bedroom, anxious not to wake my wife or baby.
In the deep quiet, I can hear only my own breathing. I can see only the merest glow outlining the bedroom door, from a night light on the far side. I walk slowly, consciously relaxing with every step, growing more sleepy, gratefully counting down the half-dozen or so seconds until I’ll be in bed…
And then I plant a foot on some damn squeaky toy in the middle of the living room floor.