DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I don’t get out much. I work at home; my commute is about 12 seconds, even when I stop to put shoes on. For years, the farthest I’d get from my front door in a typical workweek was the end of the driveway, which is where the mailbox was. Now that I’ve moved, the mailbox is a solid eighth of a mile away, and up a mean hill, so I don’t even retrieve the mail any more.

One of the unexpected consequences of being within maybe 20 feet of a landline about 98% of the time is that I am only barely cellphone-literate. I own one, but I’m happy to leave it in the cabinet with the car keys, because I only use them together and then only every once in a while.

This week is exceptional, because I’m (a) out out town and (b) carrying a cellphone all day. I keep the phone in vibrate mode now, after an embarassing cellphone-novice experience at a conference last year in which it rang, at maximum volume, while the phone was in my shoulder bag, and it took me two rings to realize it was my phone making that terrible noise, and another two to realize that whether or not I realized it was mine, everyone within fifteen feet did, and two more for me to dig it out of the bag and frantically silence the thing. And then about a minute later, it rang again to tell me I had a voice message waiting. The withering stares from other conference attendees had already shamed me out into the hotel lobby at that point, fortunately.

So anyway, I was sitting at lunch today chatting with a guy about his new startup. I guess I was leaning forward because my traitorous phone was smashed up under my hip, affording it excellent bone conductivity. The phone rang, in vibrate mode, and I nearly jumped out of my seat. I actually yelled. I had no idea what was happening, but my adrenal glands were pretty sure that running away would be a good idea.

All things considered, the fact that I work with computers all day is pretty surprising.