DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

On January 16, Bear Stearns analyst Andrew Neff recommended a sweeping consolidation for the computer industry (a plan another analyst termed “the height of stupidity”). Under Neff’s plan, Apple would stop making computers and become, instead, an industrial design shop, designing Windows machines. Presumably he believes this would be to their advantage, a step in wringing out the “fundamental overcapacity in the PC industry.” (Man, that’s dumb.)

IBM, according to Neff, needs to sell its PC business to Dell or Compaq. I have to guess this dramatic change is required by forces of the market — for an analyst to recommend that a company sell off a division, wouldn’t you think that division must be doing badly, or not be a good fit with the company’s overall business plan?

The answer is “no,” as far as I’ve seen. Analysts pretty much recommend whatever ridiculous plan would generate the most income for their own portfolios.

A day after Neff’s report, IBM announced 4th-quarter results that were strong enough to instigate an 11% jump in their stock price. Apparently Neff’s prediction was way off base… certainly there was nothing in IBM’s results to warrant selling off huge pieces of itself to the highest bidder.

Neff himself didn’t admit any mistake (to no one’s surprise), although he reversed his position on IBM about 179°. CNET reports, “Neff said the stock should do well as long as IBM’s operations remain steady…” Further, “Neff added that with several business lines likely to pick up momentum in 2001, the time to own IBM is now…”

Err, at what point during this operations-remaining-steady and business-picking-up should IBM auction off their PC business?

I find it laughable that analysts spin these absurd scenarios. Here’s what I’d like to see: a disclaimer on every one of these analysts’ reports that indicates how much the analyst will personally profit if anyone follows his or her advice.

IBM should sell off its PC business to Compaq or Dell. BTW, if they do that, my company will underwrite the process and will make about seven million dollars. My commission will be enough to buy another three Ferraris.

This turned up on an old groove tape the other day. It’s a simple one-bar thing in straight time with a basic eighth-note ride pattern. The ghost notes give it a nice hypnotic feel, setting off the interplay between kick and snare accents.

The snare on the a of 4 is actually played as two 32nd notes — a ruff into the next downbeat on the kick.

     1e+a2e+a3e+a4e+a
RC   o o o o o o o o 
SD    o o O   o  O  o
KD   o  o  o o

Patronize these links, man:

• Virtual Drummer loop
• MIDI
• MP3

This is the author’s second collection of autobiographical essays, and it contains some gems. The title piece, about Sedaris’ experience at a nudist camp, is hilarious and absurd, and alone worth the price of the book.

If you enjoy P.J. O’Rourke, Dave Barry, Jon Carroll, Cecil Adams (The Straight Dope), or Carl Hiaasen, you’re likely to find something you enjoy in naked.

Patronize these links, man:

• Amazon (Paperback)
• Amazon (Hardback)
• Amazon (Audio Cassette)

This is a most unusual book.

For one thing, it’s not fiction, although the subject matter (remote viewing — sending one’s consciousness, or at least one’s perception, across space and time to witness an event, past or future) and plot (cloak-and-dagger CIA spying and assassination attempts) sound more like fiction than not.

The author, David Morehouse, tells his own story of becoming receptive to odd visions after a head injury. He is recruited to join Stargate, a top-secret psychic espionage organization run by the government, and ultimately has a falling out with the group that threatens his health, his career, his life.

Whether you believe it or not, it’s a fascinating story. And if you do believe remote viewing is possible, then this story becomes somewhat shocking.

Patronize these links, man:

• Amazon (paperback)
• Amazon (hardback)

My kit has a fixed hi-hat and a cowbell just above the floor tom on the right side, and it always feels good to ride on either of the metal instruments in a quarter-note groove, playing the offbeats on the floor tom with the same hand. That’s the way to learn this groove: start with the ride hand, then add the kick, then the snare accents, and finally the ghost notes on the snare. Then, if you’re feeling underutilized, play the hi-hat with your foot on the offbeats, or better, splash it open on the downbeat, and close it on the offbeat.

This transcription doesn’t show the ghost notes, but they’re played on most of the e’s and a’s — whatever feels good.

      1e+a2e+a3e+a4e+a1e+a2e+a3e+a4e+a
CB    o   o   o   o   o   o   o   o   
FT      o   o   o   o   o   o   o   o 
SD            O               O  O
KD    o  o oo       o o  o oo      oo
HH      o   o   o   o   o   o   o   o

Patronize these links, man:

• Virtual Drummer loop
• MIDI
• MP3