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Saturday, July 20th, 2002

the darker side of real estate

Well, at least I know who I’m not selling my house to.

It was Saturday, prime-time for showing properties. We’d endured so many showings during the week that we figured we’d just leave for the afternoon, and let the realtors fight amongst themselves for the lockbox hanging at the front door. Between 10am and 5pm, they’d be crawling about the place like maggots on a porkchop.

So we drove to the beach, visited a few bookstores, wandered around, killed time, and by 5pm, we were ready to be done. We came home, tossed the fresh business cards into the stack, and then discovered an unwanted message on the answering machine: “Hi, I was in earlier to preview your house. I’ll be back just after 5:00 with my clients. I hope that’s OK.” The realtor left a number, which I’d have called to cancel his visit if it wasn’t already so late that they’d be pulling into the driveway any second.

So we sucked it up. Never mind that we’d abandoned the place for hours specifically to not have to deal with all these people… never mind that 5:00 PM is the magic “come again tomorrow” hour… Maybe the client had a lot of money, after all. I’d heard Martha Stewart was buying a house in Marin — maybe after the recent insider-trading scandal she’s decided to look for something a bit more modest.

I regretted my decision as soon as the people arrived. The realtor would have been a plantation owner, had be been born 150 years ago: unpleasant, swaggering, and oily. The first words out of his mouth, spoken with a good-old-boy drawl, were “Have you ever looked into putting a stove and toilet into that studio building?” He didn’t ask about installing a shower. Presumably this is not a fixture he attributed much value to.

I smiled tightly. “No, never thought about it,” I said, “so please shoehorn your greasy bad intentions back into your Lincoln Town Car and drive the hell off my property,” I should have added, along with “Better never than late!” and a cheerful if sarcastic wave. But I let them wander around anyway, even though I could guarantee that they ultimately would not be buying my house.


Tags:
posted to channel: Personal
updated: 2004-02-22 22:49:16

Thursday, July 18th, 2002

realtorama

Realtors are a bit like housepets; when they pass through they mark the territory to announce to all the rest of their kind, “I was here!” For the most part, realtors do this marking by leaving a business card in a conspicuous place. But I suspect some have less polite habits, for after our recent open house I found a few stains I couldn’t identify.

Today was the second time we had a tour of realtors through the house. They descend in a mass like a biblical plague, quickly count bedrooms and bathrooms, and exit in haste, leaving all doors open, lights lit, and the inevitable scattershot display of calling cards.


Tags:
posted to channel: Personal
updated: 2004-02-22 22:49:16

Wednesday, July 17th, 2002

studio story

Everybody wants to rent out my studio. Just about every realtor, every prospective buyer, looks at my awesome music and dance studio and thinks, I’ll bet I could get $500/month for that. I don’t understand it — we’ve built the perfect hobby room, insulated, isolated, and darn near soundproofed, and all anyone can think is that it will take the edge off their mortgage.

Have you no lives, people?!

Sure, for the cost of another car in the driveway, another person or two trudging around the property 24x7, you could arguably rent this out as a living space, if the tenant didn’t mind the complete lack of plumbing. See, there’s no water down there, and worse, the studio is downhill from the septic tank, making the installation of a toilet somewhat more expensive than it’s likely to be worth. On balance I’m pretty happy about this; in a small way, I’ve prevented the overdevelopment of my own neighborhood. And, I’ve encouraged whoever buys my house to explore his or her artistic side, by providing a huge room dedicated to the task.


Tags:
posted to channel: Personal
updated: 2004-02-22 22:49:16

Tuesday, July 16th, 2002

new house images

I trust everyone realized I didn’t really buy the crooked house pictured previously in this space. Those photos were taken somewhere in Amador County a few months ago.

Here, somewhat more exiting but a lot less orange, is the house I really did buy: kitchen, view from deck.


Tags:
posted to channel: Personal
updated: 2004-02-22 22:49:16

Monday, July 15th, 2002

Hollywood Outsider

I am so impressed with this, I can’t even tell you.

Aaron Lyon is an ambitious guy. He’s written a rock opera, and will be performing it on stage in September (2002). There’s nothing like booking a two-week run at the local theater to inspire you to stick to your recording schedule, eh?

Here’s the home site: Hollywood Outsider. Follow the recording progress, listen to rough mixes, read lyrics. Watch it grow. Or, rather, listen.

In the interests of editorial objectivity (always a priority here on debris.com) (snort!), I should tell you that I contributed to the drum track of the song Dead Singers, via the magic of MIDI. I thank Aaron for asking; I’m excited to be a part of the project.

Check out the harmonies on Back on Track pt. 1. Crazy!

Update: The CD is now available, and it sounds great. Hear samples at the Superconductor Music page.


Tags:
posted to channel: Music
updated: 2004-02-22 22:49:16

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