DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I don’t watch television, because we have no reception out here in the broadcast-media-wasteland that is western Sonoma county. I’m totally pleased with this arrangement; as far as I can tell I’ve missed nothing of import in the five years I’ve not had access to commercial programming. (We did subscribe to cable for the Olympics once.)

This is not to say that everything broadcast by the various television companies is garbage. It’s just that the signal to noise ratio is really low. And the noise is especially noisome — I’ve seen enough commercials (during occasional hotel-room stays) to know this for sure.

So, I’m grateful for studios’ recent efforts to publish previously broadcast content on DVD. This seems to me to be a great way to see the shows that are worth the investment in time, without having my brain freeze-dried by the endless stream of lifestyle marketing that features people and hobbies that I find offensive.

I just picked up Season Three of M*A*S*H. The first two sets are remarkable; the colors are brilliant, the picture quality is excellent, the sound is crisp and clear. These are old sources, of course, so I’m not talking about anamorphic widescreen and 5.1 surround. Considering the source, the DVD presentation is wonderful.

And we’ve been watching the first season of Sopranos, courtesy of the local video-rental place. I wouldn’t be interested in owning this particular series, but it’s been fun to see the first season knowing how popular it’s become. We’ve gotten as far as episode 10, and I have to say I’m eager to see the final two. On the other hand, I kind of hope they’re no good, because the video-rental place hasn’t bought the second season DVD set yet.

Sears seems to keep their customer lists forever. Move or die, they’ll still send catalogs to every place you’ve ever lived.

I just got three copies of the Spring ‘03 Fashion mailing. One was addressed to the people who sold us this house and moved out of state last Fall. Another was addressed to the people who sold the house to the people we bought it from, in 1997, and have since passed away. Both these copies contain revealing information about Sears’ disrespect for customers’ privacy, in a back-cover blurb that announces what seems to be a reversal of previous opt-outs:

According to our records, your household is not currently receiving promotional notices in the mail from Sears… We are updating our records… If you do not contact us at the above telephone number, you will be placed on our mailing list.

So, sell your Sears stock. Their sales projections are apparently so weak that they’ve decided to send catalogs to a bunch of people who have either previously opted out, or moved, or died. This is not exactly low-hanging fruit.

For the record, I find it despicable that any company would reverse its stance on privacy like this. What Sears is saying, as far as I can tell, is “even though you previously told us you don’t want to receive our junk mail, we’ll start sending it now unless you call us again to ask us not to.”

I bought appliances from Sears last Fall, and if I was given an opportunity to opt-out then I certainly would have. (I don’t remember.) If I was given an opportunity to opt in — that is, to request to be on the mailing list — I absolutely, without question, would not have, which is why I assume that the catalog victims in households “not currently receiving promotional notices” must have previously opted out, because clearly Sears never waited for an opt-in in the past.

It’s interesting that the catalog they sent in my name contained no opt-out information. In that sense I’m fortunate to have received the other two copies, because it gave me the opt-out telephone number, which I’ll share with you now.

To opt out of the Sears junkmail list, call 1-800-510-2396.

(If that number ends up getting cancelled, try 1-800-366-3125 or one of the numbers on Sears Catalog Contacts page.)

You may still run into a roadblock, although whether it’s due to Sears’ unwillingness to help customers leave the mailing list, or its inability to manage its database, is unknown at this time. The mailing with my name on it had no “sequence number”, so we had to search by name and ZIP. That search pulled up my old address, even though the catalog was sent to my new address. So it seems that I can’t be taken off the mailing list, because I’m not on it, never mind the Sears catalog in my hand that proves otherwise.

Here’s another direct-marketing list broker that sells your name and address data: GETKO Hotline

If you’re a new homeowner, call Getko at 800-642-8732 opt out. Their reps will mislead you by saying you should call the DMA to opt out, but I know Getko isn’t using the DMA’s opt-out list — if they were, I wouldn’t be getting mail from people who bought my name from Getko.

Don’t forget to call Homedata too.

The AP reports:

President Bush on Tuesday signed legislation creating a national “do-not-call” list intended to help consumers block unwanted telemarketing calls.

The bill allows the Federal Trade Commission to collect fees from telemarketers to fund the registry, which will cost about $16 million in its first year. The do-not-call program should begin operation by summer.

Telemarketers say the registry will devastate their business.

So it seems that the telemarketers not only will be forced to comply with this new law — they’ll also have to pay for it. Ha!

The new law is unfortunately not comprehensive, because the FTC has only limited authority over some industries. I understand this to mean that the new DNC law may not affect telcos, airlines, and banks. Also, the law exempts charities, surveys, and politicians. But for all of these low-lifes, who think their right to call you at home against your will is protected by the 1st Amendment, there is still Steve Rubenstein’s “hopeful hold.”

Comprehensive or not, this national DNC system is a huge step in the right direction. Citizens’ time and privacy are now protected by federal law. US States that have already implemented DNC lists can presumably shave those costs back out of their budgets as they transfer control to the federal system. And as a telemarketing victim, you no longer need to plead with each individual telemarketer to be removed from the calling list — you can simply opt out one time.

I’ll enjoy watching the DMA squirm over this one.

Check out the Chronicle’s Year in Pictures — 12 galleries of their best shots from last year.

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