DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

Sunday’s hike was about the longest hike I’d ever done, so today’s plan presented a challenge: can I follow up one 9-mile hike with another? The first steps turned immediately sour when I realized that my day-old polypropylene shirt was beginning to unravel. So much for expensive high-tech clothing.

Our route was ideal: a brief, level warmup walk along the Bear Valley Trail followed by a 2-mile climb through the forest. I appreciate being able to climb in the shade; the effort always seems greater when the sun is beating down. And if I’m climbing, I prefer to climb all at once, steep but steady, than to stretch the incline out over many miles.

We emerged at ~1350 feet for a long trek on Sky Trail. Though the terrain is mixed, there was none of the tough up-and-down we faced the previous day. My knees felt fine; Sunday’s twinges did not return (although they remained on the fringes of sensation, presumably waiting for a single misplaced footfall). All the subsystems — heart, lungs, legs, feet — performed without complaint. I actually felt very good.

Point Reyes offers wonderful views, which we almost entirely failed to capture… the skylight filter on my camera seems to add haze rather than remove it. In fact the skies were remarkably clear, providing unusually good visibility. We could even see the Farallon Islands, 27 miles west.

After the hike, we drove south on Highway 1. This is a fantastic road, but a workout for the driver, all sharp turns and guardrails. The views are amazing: rocky cliffs, breaking waves, and San Francisco hovering in the distance.

The hardest part of the drive was getting out of the car at the end. This was the lesson learned for the day: don’t forget to stretch out! After four hours of constant motion, one hour without was enough to lock up my lower body. I could barely stand up.

“Strenuous 9 Miles with 1500' climb.” Seems like an odd way to spend a Sunday when there’s code to be written. But I’m in training, with many miles to go before June 21. That’s the day I’ll spend hiking Pike’s Peak with a half-dozen equally deluded friends.

The East Ridge Trail at Armstrong Woods is more challenging than it sounds. My sense is there’s a lot more up-and-down than the 1500' figure indicates. I think we probably climbed those 1500' three or four times.

I was testing my fancy new hydrophobic polypropylene base layer, aka “shirt.” It worked better than I imagined it could — I was sweating like a watermelon at a barbecue, but this wondergarment drained all the moisture away. After our break, instead of feeling the pull and weight of a soaked-through, clammy cotton T-shirt, I felt completely dry.

I will admit to looking ridiculous. There’s a certain body type that looks good in skin-tight plastic clothing. Whatever body type I have, it’s apparently the wrong one. Muscles and, erm, other kinds of tissue show in equal relief.

There is also the possibility that my shirt is a size too small, because after the hike, the “care instructions” were embossed in reverse on the back of my neck.

The climb was pretty tough. My energy and wind were fine, but I started having a twinge in my left knee on the ascent. Oddly, it moved to my right knee for the return. This is frightening, for there’s no chance I’m going to finish a 25-mile hike if my knees are tweaked. I’m working on skeletal adjustments, but I don’t know if enough weeks remain for the adjustments to “take.” Tune in in June, I guess… If I don’t post anything during the week of the 22nd, send out a search party.

Habits learned in childhood can last a lifetime. That’s why so many companies market to kids; for example, tobacco companies target advertising to children in hopes of creating life-long addicts, and fast-food companies do the same thing.

So why do schools serve soda and junk food? One might think that it would be beneficial to kids’ health, and to the future economy of the country, to teach kids healthy eating habits. There are actually a number of reasons why schools should continue to serve soda and junk food to kids:

1. Banning soda will cost schools big money.
2. Soda is not the problem; kids need more exercise.
3. Soft drink companies help schools by donating scoreboards, uniforms and equipment.
4. Kids won’t buy healthy foods from vending machines.
5. Banning soda sales violates kids’ right to free choice.

Wrong. A grade school in San Francisco recently phased out soda and junk food and proved all the above “truths” to be untrue. Example: the school found that vending-machine sales rose when sodas were replaced with bottled water and 100% juice drinks. Read the real-world truth behind these junk-food myths.

A regional group called Parents Advocating School Accountability provides additional helpful resources for parents or teachers who would like to replicate this success. Specifically, the “Healthy Food, Healthy Kids” PDF outlines a 10-step program for eliminating junk foods from your kids’ school.

Here’s the article that inspired this story: One school’s uncanny success with junk-food ban

Ralph Nader’s Citizen Works presents Vice-President Dick Cheney with their “Daddy Warbucks Award for eminence in corporate war profiteering” today.

In a nutshell, here are the events that earned Cheney the award:

• “Cheney, who served as [Halliburton] CEO from 1995 to 2000, continues to receive as much as $1 million a year in deferred compensation.”
• “The U.S. Army Corp of Engineers awarded a no-bid contract to extinguish oil well fires in Iraq to Kellogg Brown and Root (KBR), a subsidiary of Halliburton… The contract, which was not announced until more than two weeks after it was awarded, was open-ended, with no time limits and no dollar limits. It was also a “cost-plus” contract, meaning that the company is guaranteed to recover costs and then make a guaranteed profit on top of that. Its value is estimated at tens of millions of dollars.”

Congratulations, Vice-President Cheney!

The following will be much more interesting if you know who Mike Portnoy is: he’s the drummer for Dream Theater, arguably the most successful progressive metal band in history. More often than not, he’s been the face of the band, tirelessly doing interviews and promotions and shooting home videos of sessions and concerts and etc. Also he’s won the annual Modern Drummer readers’ poll in many categories for many years. The point is, he’s far from obscure; in the rock music scene, he’s perhaps one of the best-known personalities. Now check out this crazy story:

Someone has been out on the streets and in bars in New York City claiming to be Mike Portnoy. This person apparently knew a lot of Mike’s intimate business and family details, and as such managed to convince a number of people that he was indeed the drummer for Dream Theater. Using Mike Portnoy’s identity, the imposter managed to steal wallets, credit cards, cell phones, house keys, and whatever else he could get his hands on. Fortunately, the imposter was located and arrested today…

This is completely bizarre. Mike Portnoy is married and sober and presumably wealthy, whereas the imposter was drunk, hanging out in bars, picking up guys, cadging drinks, and spending nights in the homes of people he just met. The scary thing is, everybody believed it. I don’t mean to say they’re dumb for being fooled, but that the imposter must have been pretty slick to convince everybody.

Read more about the Mike Portnoy imposter.

Also here are two forum posts [1, 2] by one of the witnesses who will be testifying against the imposter.