DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

Stuck in the car last night, temporarily weary of hearing Octavarium (which incidentially is so good I haven’t taken the tape out of the car’s stereo since I put it in there), I channel-surfed through the FM spectrum to the first show I could pick up that wasn’t completely inane, although not by much as it turns out: “Gray Area” with Chris Daniel and Brad Giese on Free FM.

They were reading through Lindsay Lohan’s condolences to the Altman family following the death of filmmaker Robert Altman. She made a fractured mess of English grammar; she’s in desperate need of an editor, if not 8-12 years of grade-school education. My favorite line is her powerful closer, issued in all caps: “BE ADEQUITE.”

But the funniest part of the broadcast came when one of the hosts commented on Lohan’s “sense of eloquency.” That was either bitingly sarcastic or an astonishingly bad time for barbarism. Either way, I laughed aloud.

And then I queued up Octavarium again.

Answering the call (note: requires login) for slogan suggestions for deadelephant.org, I humbly submit:

(Click here if it doesn’t make sense.)

Update 2006-10-13: This Foley Family Values bumper sticker design is now available as a downloadable PDF; click the image.

I sort of hate to kick the GOP while they’re down… but on the other hand, what a pack of assholes.

Check out deadelephant.org for a stack of great bumper stickers that say what you’ve been thinking for the past six years. Print them at home for $nada or buy the real thing for $cheap.

My good friend Andrew Thomas has released his first solo CD, Then… and Today: nine original compositions and one cover featuring 11 great musicians and me, too — I contributed drum tracks for seven of the songs, and hammer dulcimer for one.

The songs represent a variety of styles and influences, from pop-punk to fusion to smooth jazz. There are three vocal tunes, five instrumentals, and two bass solo pieces.

The bass playing is top-notch; Andrew elevates his bass(es) to the front of the mix, deftly pulling off cool grooves and catchy melodies. All the guest musicians turned in nuanced, passionate performances. And the production is completely professional; Evan Rodaniche’s mixes really shine.

Click through to the MP3s to hear the first four songs on the CD.

The sixth song, Not Fair, deserves special mention, not only because it features all three members of JAR. It was recorded and re-recorded by at least seven people in four studios over about five years’ time, but the result sounds like three guys in a room. I don’t know how we did that, but I love it.

(Related story: I wrote previously about tracking the dulcimer for Domino, now called This is How It Will End).

Charles Fishman stacks the astonishing facts into a mountain of evidence and the most compelling argument for Compact Fluorescents I’ve ever seen, in the latest issue of Fast Company:

• Since 1985, CFLs have changed as much as cell phones and portable music players.
• Compact fluorescents emit the same light as classic incandescents but use 75% or 80% less electricity.
• The typical U.S. house has between 50 and 100 [light bulb] sockets
• The single greatest source of greenhouse gases in the United States is power plants
• if every one of 110 million American households bought just one [CFL] … and screwed it in the place of an ordinary 60-watt bulb, the energy saved would be enough to power a city of 1.5 million people … to turn off two entire power plants … one bulb [replaced per household] is equivalent to taking 1.3 million cars off the roads.
• a $3 [CFL] pays for itself in lower electric bills in about five months

I’ve thought CFLs were a no-brainer for five years: they cost less, they’re better for the planet; what’s not to love? But according to Fishman, I’m in the minority:

Last year, U.S. consumers spent about $1 billion to buy about 2 billion lightbulbs — 5.5 million every day. Just 5%, 100 million, were compact fluorescents.

Anyway, the next revelation in the article is that Wal-Mart aims to overcome this particular inertia within American society:

In the next 12 months, starting with a major push this month, Wal-Mart wants to sell every one of its regular customers — 100 million in all — one swirl bulb.

This is huge news. Most people will pick the less-expensive option if they know one is available, so a concerted marketing effort positioning CFLs as cheap will absolutely have an impact. There’s a convenience factor at play, too; if the local warehouse store sold recycled paper towels, half the people in the county would use them.

Of course, Wal-Mart has at best a mixed reputation as a steward of the planet or its inhabitants; BuyBlue.org ranks it negatively in 4 of 5 categories. I hope Fishman is correct when he reports that Wal-Mart “aims to change its own reputation, to use swirls to make clear how seriously Wal-Mart takes its new positioning as an environmental activist.” Environmentalists would be crazy not to embrace such a change, so I’ll say this: within 30 days I will buy a CFL at Wal-Mart (and try not to dwell on the donation the company will make to the GOP on my behalf). Solidarity!

The article just gets better. Fishman describes WalMart V.P. Chuck Kerby’s CFL zen slap:

“Somebody asked, ‘What difference would it make if we changed the bulbs in the ceiling-fan display to CFLs?’” says Kerby. A typical Wal-Mart has 10 models of ceiling fans on display, each with four bulbs. Forty bulbs per store, 3,230 stores.

“Someone went off and did the math,” says Kerby. “They told me we could save $6 million in electric bills by changing the incandescents to CFLs in more than 3,000 Wal-Marts. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know I was paying $6 million to light those fixtures. I said, that can’t be right, go back and do the math again.”

Why is all this important? Read no farther than Fishman’s opening paragraph:

Sitting humbly on shelves in stores everywhere is a product, priced at less than $3, that will change the world. Soon. It is a fairly ordinary item that nonetheless cuts to the heart of a half-dozen of the most profound, most urgent problems we face. Energy consumption. Rising gasoline costs and electric bills. Greenhouse-gas emissions. Dependence on coal and foreign oil. Global warming.