DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

So we decide to spend a romantic night in Sonoma, “next weekend.” Ha! laughed the gods of expensive inns, 2-night-minimums, and calendars booked months in advance. Even some humans laughed at me, like the “concierge” at the Sonoma Valley Visitors’ Bureau, who in response to my request answered Good luck in a tone so sarcastic her own kids would have slapped her.

But I was undeterred. I made many phone calls. I dealt well with rejection.

I cajoled and pleaded and, I’m not ashamed to admit, begged for special treatment. “It’s my anniversary,” I said meekly in hopes of winning the pity of some meekness-hardened innkeeper. They were polite, but firm: “We’re booked.” Or, occasionally, “We have rooms available, but only if you’re staying two nights.”

That’s what really upset me: enforcing a 2-night minimum, one week before the check-in date. You’d think they can’t make money on a $200 room if the guest only stays one night.

One very fancy bed-and-breakfast with a single open suite was willing to relax the 2-night restriction for us. My heart split with joy! Until I saw that the suite costs $500 per night. For that price, I’d be taking all the furniture home with me, in addition to the little bottles of shampoo from the bathroom.