DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I can always tell when it’s a holiday because there are three times as many people as usual at the gym. As they sweat it out, red-faced and panting, two-sizes-too-large T-shirts pulled down to cover hips packed with years of dairy-product-based abuse, I grit my teeth and conceive of what could easily be the next fad diet plan, and make me immeasurably wealthy too: The Holiday Diet! Participants can eat and drink whatever they want all year round, but on the 8-10 US work holidays that occur during the year, they must give in to the staggering guilt and show up at the local gym early in the morning and work out as hard as possible. Then, assuming they have not had a heart attack, participants can reward themselves with a huge breakfast, and then lay around the house all day in a food coma, congratulating themselves for not working out more often because it makes them feel so bad when they do.

OK, so I probably won’t make any money on it, but at least I wouldn’t have to wait in line for a treadmill.