DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I’ve been following the diet-and-fitness cycle around the back side of the loop, and have recently refocused my efforts: cleaner diet, better and more rigorously-scheduled exercise. The display on my treadmill tells me that I burn 500 calories in a typical workout, which I feel great about, as it helps justify my typical breakfast, which I affectionately call “the thousand-calorie bowl of cereal” — basically as much granola as I can fit in the bowl. I have to carry the rice milk to the table now because there isn’t enough room in the bowl for it.

Geeks have an odd but traditional bond with cereal. Recall that in Cryptonomicon, Neal Stephenson goes on for five pages about “world-class cereal-eating,” describing in detail the architecture of Captain Crunch, the ideal temperature and composition of milk, and a comprehensive technique for consuming large quanities of both before they combine to form a “pit of loathsome slime” in the bowl. (If you already own the book, see Crunch, p. 475 of the Perennial paperback edition. If you have a different edition, the passage in question immediately precedes the PERL script referenced (by page number) in the Acknowledgements.)

The geek/cereal connection can’t touch the geek/caffeine connection, of course. ThinkGeek has so many caffeinated gifts, they have to break them down into three categories: caffeinated drinks, caffeinated candy, caffeinated accessories. Assuming you’d enjoy drinking something called Bawls, you can even set up scheduled deliveries. Heh.

I feel fortunate that I never developed a need for caffeine, which is basically a habit-forming chemical stimulant that’s been implicated in a number of health concerns, but which according to the National Coffee Association will not cause coronary disease, birth defects, or osteoporosis.

Of course I’m missing out on coffee culture — the privilege of sitting on the curb outside a designer coffee place on Sunday morning, $4 latte in one hand, cellphone and SUV keys in the other, to vigorously debate the fall of civilization as evidenced by the long line at the cinnamon- and cocoa-shakers.