DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I’ve transcribed this recipe after carefully observing a number of German people in my house. This is not a traditional German recipe, although if you follow it, you will end up with a traditional German dish.

1. Drive out of town, past three supermarkets, to the organic produce stand.
   
2. Hand-select a dozen of the freshest, ripest, most pure and beautiful organic locally-grown Roma tomatoes you can find.
   
3. Upon returning home, store the tomatoes in the refrigerator.
   
4. After finding that your taciturn son-in-law has moved the tomatoes from the refrigerator to the kitchen counter, move the tomatoes back into the refrigerator.
   
5. After finding that your taciturn son-in-law has moved the tomatoes from the refrigerator to the small table on the other side of the kitchen, where the rest of the keeps-fresh-at-room-temperature produce is kept fresh, move the tomatoes back into the refrigerator.
   
6. At the time of the next meal, realize that the refrigerator has sapped all flavor from the tomatoes. Go to one of the supermarkets you passed in step 1 and buy a large roasted chicken. Ignore the tomatoes. Eat the chicken with your fingers.

OK, I admit it, I’m teasing a little bit. The back-and-forth with the tomatoes really happened. It was pretty funny at the time, an apparent culture clash, like the way some people store bread in the refrigerator (eek!) or peanut butter in the cabinet. But I think my in-laws planned to eat that greasy chicken for lunch anyway.

Here’s what Deborah Madison, one of the heroes of vegetarian cooking and author of the fabulous Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone, has to say about storing tomatoes: Keep tomatoes at room temperature or in a cool place, but not in the refrigerator unless a glut makes it impossible to do otherwise. Cold kills everything about them that’s good.

…unless you really like that fresh-from-the-can flavor.