DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

A magazine caught my eye at the gym the other day. The cover pictures a slice of chocolate cheesecake that looks like a plate full of sclerosis. It’s labelled “decadent,” one of the meanings of which is “Being in a state of decline or decay,” which sounds accurate to me although I think that wasn’t what the editor intended.

The surprising thing is that the magazine that featured this recipe is called Cooking Light. I don’t think there’s anything “light” about Brownie Cheesecake Torte. No, I’m not interested in hearing about lowfat brownie mix, nonfat creamcheese, etc… if you really want to eat light, just skip the pie. It’s not that hard to do.

Let’s take a quick poll. If anyone in the audience believes, really believes that Brownie Cheesecake Torte has any place in a healthy diet, please raise your hand. Erm, set down that greasy lamb shank first. Thank you.

I don’t write this to disparage Cooking Light magazine. I’m picking on it momentarily because it makes a convenient example, in the case of this particular cover story, of the wrongheaded thinking that keeps most people unhealthy, even when people want to change. Many Americans believe they can have contradictory goals: eat the pie, lose weight anyway. Sorry, but chemistry just doesn’t work that way.

To be clear, I think everyone should eat whatever they want to eat. I have no designs on becoming a nutritional expert or diet guru. But I wish people would stop deceiving themselves about the relationship between their lifestyle and their bodies. Or, in short: “Actions have consequences.”

Now, put your hands back down before you starve to death.