DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I have to confess to an occasional weakness for convenience foods. Sometimes I feel like if I eat one more leaf, I’m going to sprout three more stomachs and a real long neck. You know how it goes.

So I picked up a pallet of BocaBurgers at Costco. A BocaBurger is a vegan faux meat patty. Writing that here, it just does not sound appetizing, I admit. But when served on a fresh homemade bagel with about 6 oz of ketchup (hey, it’s an antioxidant!), it makes a passable meal substitute, injecting variety and healthy soy protein into my diet. The soy really helps with my menstrual cramping too.

But I have to wonder, what the heck are those grill marks from?! Best guess: they’re using a faux grill on their faux meat. I bet they’re painting the stripes with miniature roller brushes.

My other problem with BocaBurgers is that they look and taste an awful lot like meat. You might think these are entirely right and good things for a fake burger to do, but for anyone familiar with GardenBurgers, expecting a variation on the wholegrain-food-disk theme, it’s an unpleasant surprise.

So, anyway, if you want to buy most of a pallet of BocaBurgers, let me know. Maybe they’ll see you through the latest tainted-beef recall.