DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

“I’d like the Vegilante, I said, “in a spinach tortilla.”

“OK, got it,” said the burrito master, tapping keys on the register.

“With braised tofu,” I continued meaningfully.

“Yes?” Two more keypresses, the first of which probably meant “cancel the plain Vegilante.” I continued with my spec.

“Organic brown rice …” He pressed another key.

“… black beans …” No keypress; the Vegilante comes with black beans. I suspected it might.

“… and no dairy: no sour cream, no cheese.” I had to be sure. He tapped again.

“Yes?” This order, he clearly thought, could go on forever. I hadn’t even gotten into the condiments yet.

“That’s it.” I gave him a winning smile, a smile that said, “if you wash your hands before you make my dinner, there’s an extra buck in it for you.”

He gave me a look that said, “Well, you certainly know what you want.” Just in case I’d missed the look, he said, “Well, you certainly know what you want.” I did, I did. In fact, I always do.

In wholly unrelated news, today I overheard someone say he had a “quandrum.” It’s an unfamiliar word, but the meaning was clear from context: quandrum is no doubt a synonym for “conundary.”