DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

My modus operandi for handling junk mail for the past 30 months:

1. call the vendor to have my address removed from the mailing list
2. shred the documents that contain my name or address
3. send back the prepaid reply envelope with a flyer from some other junk mailer inside

The last step is my favorite. It was an idea promoted by Jon Carroll. Its goal is to make direct mail less profitable.

I believe this campaign has begun having an effect. Some of the reply envelopes I see now contain barcodes.

For example, MBNA, a major cobranded credit-card vendor and junkmailer, uses barcodes on reply envelopes. Presumably, MBNA can track who the offer was sent to just by scanning the barcode on the empty envelope. I’d like to think MBNA’s response would be to take the corresponding address off the mailing list, but I cut the barcodes off my reply envelopes anyway. I don’t need another credit card.

Today I received a credit-card offer from Capital One, a fictitious business name junkmailer. The reply envelope contained a barcode, and something I’ve never seen before in this context: a threat! It reads,TAMPERING WITH THIS ENVELOPE OR ITS CONTENTS MAY RESULT IN LEGAL ACTION

I find this fascinating. I know of no law that dictates what I’m allowed to do with something I receive in the mail. Can the sender imply a contract? “By opening this package, which we sent you without your consent, you agree to follow our rules regarding the contents.” I’m pretty sure the envelope and its contents become my property, and I can do anything I want with them… including cutting off the barcode and sending back the envelope (with an MBNA flyer inside).

In fact it’s pretty offensive, what Capital One is claiming: that they can send mail to me, but I can’t send it back.