DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I received a somber, informationally dense pamphlet in the mail from Chevron. It’s titled “Chevron Cardmember Privacy Statement.” When I read this, I felt a bit like I might if my doctor called to say “I need to discuss your recent chest X-ray.” This pamphlet is bad, bad news: it details the ways in which, as a matter of standard business practice, Chevron assaults my personal privacy.

I am surprised that they’ve bothered to detail the ways in which they’re abusing their customers’ rights — it’s generally safe to assume that any company that knows your name or address is making money by selling your information as many times per day as possible, but it is unusual in my experience that any company would ever admit to this.

But this is precisely what Chevron has done.

Here is the information Chevron collects about its customers: name, address, address history, social security number, employment/student status, spouse name, spouse SSN, kids’ names, telephone numbers, email address, credit history, credit rating, Chevron account balance, payment history, gasoline usage patterns.

What of this information does Chevron sell? Here’s a quote from the pamphlet: We may disclose all of the information that we collect.

Who does Chevron sell this information to? In a nutshell, anyone at all.

So apparently it’s not enough that they make money from you when you buy their gasoline — they also sell and resell your personal information. They know whether you are single or married, and whether you have any kids… they know how long you’ve worked at your current job, or whether you’re a student… they know your social security number, which is one of the two pieces of information needed for someone to steal your identity… they know whether you own or rent your home, and when you move they track your relative income by examining your neighborhood’s ZIP code… they know whether or not you commute to work… they know when you’re home… they know how frequently you travel, how long you’re gone, and whether you drive or fly on these trips. To me this is dangerous information for any corporation to have, especially any corporation that admits to selling it with total disregard for your personal safety.

Note that the Chevron credit card application does not contain an opt-out opportunity, much less an opt-in. In plain language this means that you have to ask them to stop selling your data; by default, they will not respect your privacy. You can’t opt out until after they’ve approved your application, which means they’ve already sold all the data on your application, long before your card arrives in the mail.

Here’s the best way to stop this abuse: call 1-800-CHE-VRON and cancel your account. You can use your ATM or regular credit card to buy gas at about 99% of the gas stations in the country anyway.

If you’ve temporarily lost your mind and really do want to continue doing business with this company, you can and should still opt-out of their solicitation lists: call 1-800-CHE-VRON and ask to be removed immediately.

Update: when I called, I was routed to an announcement that repeats this mantra: “We do not sell your information.” I’m not sure how to take this, because the pamphlet clearly states Chevron’s intentions. Perhaps what they mean is that they are not currently, at the moment, selling my data, but they reserve the right to sell it in the future without notice. Or perhaps they’re hiding behind the word “selling” — maybe they don’t sell my data, per se, but only trade it for, I don’t know, large sums of money disguised as a consulting payment. This duplicity offends me. Feh.