DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

My mission, upon entering Compass Books in the United terminal at SFO, was to find two current magazines: Electronic Musician, in which I expected to find an article on recording acoustic drums, and Modern Drummer, which I knew would contain a review of a cherry segment-shell drum kit from Greg Gaylord.

This bookstore stocks about 500 magazines. I scanned the titles quickly, assuming that the magazines would be grouped by topic. Scanning, scanning, scanning, stepping around the portly passenger with a carry-on the size of a Mini Cooper… and at the far end of the room, having found no cache of music magazines, I realized with a shock that musicians can’t afford to travel.

I saw magazines about golf (three of them), flying (three), food (seven), surfing (three), boating (six), cars (sixteen!), business (too many to count), woman stuff (too irritating to count). They’re topics that appeal to the sort of people who hang out in airports. Electronic musicians, apparently, are too busy sweating where next month’s supply of Ramen will come from.

And modern drummers? Well, let’s just say Drum Workshop doesn’t advertise in Forbes.

During my search, I even scanned the “Foriegn” section. Kudos to the Compass Books signage staff for labeling the section in a foriegn language. You’ve made those foriegners feel right at home.

Some of the foriegn titles would have been recognizeable as such even without a marker. Not having descended from Puritans, European magazine editors are freer with sexual imagery and implication than their counterparts in the US. I love the subtitle on this headline — “the portion control issue.” I thought one size pretty much fit all. Then again, I am descended from Puritans.