DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I went shopping for a new DVD monitor recently. The LCDs and plasma screens are so nice, it’s hard to consider purchasing a tube. But the flat-panel prices are obscene…

• $4200 for a 29'' Samsung (LTM295W)
• $5000 for a 32'' Sony (KE-32TS2)
• $4300 for a 37'' Panasonic (PT-37PD4-P)

(I took these prices from goodguys.com. Better prices are probably available elsewhere, but unless they’re significantly lower, like 50% lower, I’m not interested.)

The salesman at Magnolia Hi-Fi assured me that LCD and plasma prices would not be coming down any time soon. I’ll admit that asking a commissioned salesman for a reason to postpone spending money was a pointless exercise, but I’ll record his comments here for future entertainment value. We’ll come back in a few months to see how he fared.

If you take a look back to March of 2002, Dell’s new 19-inch LCD display (the 1900FP) sold for about $1300. I picked one up on sale for $1050. Today, the same unit sells for $719. (And if you can live with a screen that’s nine-tenths of an inch smaller, you can buy the 1800FP for $539.) From $1300 to $719 represents a price drop of 45%.

The guy at Magnolia also said that the reject rate on the production line for big plasma screens is 90%. I haven’t attempted to verify this, but if it’s true that the factories have to junk nine of ten units produced, then we’ll absolutely see huge price reductions over the next 12 months as those assembly kinks are worked out.

The new Porcupine Tree album, In Absentia, features one of the strongest drum performances I’ve heard in months. Gavin Harrison’s playing is fresh, innovative, and beautifully recorded. Check out the groove from The Sound of Muzak:

        1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 6 + 7 +
7  HH   x   x   x   x   x   x   o
-  SD        o      o      o      o 
4  KD   o  o   o  o   o  o   o  o   

Patronize these links, man:

• Virtual Drummer loop
• MIDI
• MP3
• Sound of Muzak excerpt

Did you know that some canned tomatoes are processed with lye? Did you know that the famed italian plum tomatoes, San Marzanos, aren’t really available any more? Have you ever used canned tomatoes and then had to fish rock-hard lumps of canned-tomato flesh out of the pot? Did you know that those lumps result from a chemical additive that can be avoided by careful shopping?

Read all about canned tomatoes: how they’re picked, how they’re processed, and which taste the best: Tomatoes by the Tin

There’s a line in Good Will Hunting that I never understood. I’ve seen the movie a few times, but could never make sense of this one line — which was clearly a joke, but over my head. It comes in the scene where Matt Damon’s character argues with Robin Williams’ character, and then Williams’ character throws Damon’s out of the office. On the way out, Damon says, “Fuck you!” To which Williams replies, “You’re the shepherd.”

He’s the shepherd? WTF?

The other day on the treadmill, I had an insight: I understood the joke. I think it’s great how these mysteries occupy dark corners of the mind, only to spring into the light with no conscious provocation weeks or months later.

Here’s the scene: Sean (Williams’ character, the therapist) and Will (Damon) are discussing Will’s plans for the future. Will is being characteristically sarcastic. IMDB provides this transcript of the exchange:

And then Sean walks to the door, opens it up, and makes a “get the hell out” motion. He’s upset because Will is not taking the therapy seriously. If you don’t remember this, the big revelation isn’t going to be very interesting. But I’ll tell you anyway.

The key isn’t what Will said, but what Sean responded to. There’s an implied pun. Will said, “Fuck you!” But Sean turned it into an insult back at Will. Sean’s reply, “You’re the shepherd,” makes perfect sense if you spell Will’s comment this way: “Fuck ewe!”

(If you just said “ee-wee” under your breath, please visit this pronounciation guide right now.)

I need to get limber after a long break, loosen up all the fused phalanges. Here’s a groove that will do that for me.

It’s in straight time, but cut me some slack — I haven’t touched a stick in six months. I’m shaking the cobwebs off, one meter at a time you might say.

The first half of each bar is the same throughout the groove; this establishes a structure from which we’ll attempt to hang music. The second half of each bar varies, injecting some rhythmic tension and interest, and maybe some melody.

The ride ostinato varies slightly across the pattern. You could call this organic, or just inconsistent if you’re one of those people who correct anyone who says “good morning” at ten seconds after noon. The idea behind the variation is to be sensitive to the rhythms happening elsewhere on the kit. Also, this way is easier to play; for example, it doesn’t require three hands.

You might want to loop the last two beats a few times until you get the coordination down. Feel free to use two kick pedals if you want, but be sure to swing your hi-hat foot back in time for the next downbeat. Note, too, that the snare hand has to catch the open hats on the + of 4 in bars 2 and 4.

    1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 +
RC  x x x xxx x  xx x x x xxx x  xx x x x xxx x x   x x x xx    x x 
SD   o oO      oO    o oO       O    o oO      oO O  o oO   OO  O   
KD  o o       o     o o       o  o  o o       o     o o       oo oo 
HH  x   x   x   x o x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x o x   x           

Patronize these links, man:

• Virtual Drummer loop
• MIDI
• MP3