DEBRIS.COMgood for a laugh, or possibly an aneurysm

I just received an invitation to my 20-year grade school reunion. I think I’d be happier to be listed in the “missing in action” group than the “invited classmates” group — some 33 people who I haven’t thought of or heard from in the ten years since the last reunion, which I attended after a fit of ill-advised nostalgia.

It’s not that I had a bad time at the last reunion, so much as the fact that I haven’t been in contact with any of those people since then. I’m sure if I went to this gathering, I’d soon glow with the same warm and fuzzy feelings I had ten years ago, although in that case, I think I had one too many cheap canned beers first. (There’s something about drinking lukewarm Budweiser in one’s grade-school cafeteria that lends a surreal quality to any social gathering. Perhaps they should hire out for dramatic presentations, wedding receptions, and the like.)

I have to admit, my first thought upon opening the invitation was to send back the reply envelope empty. Heh.

I’ve just finished a reading binge. If you’re looking for recommendations for some great fiction, take a look at my late summer reading list.

The best of the best: The Man Who Wrote The Book, Harmful Intent, Survivor, Holes, Sick Puppy, microserfs.

Disclosure: purchases made through the provided links to Amazon will result in small payments to me. Please don’t be offended — I promise not to get rich at your expense. If everyone who reads this site regularly bought two books, I’d make enough money to buy … about two books. As ugly as such blatant capitalism can be, it might one day help offset the cost of hosting this website.

The Debris.com Personality Inventory

Regular or decaf? Sparkling or still? Red or white? Shaken or stirred? Rocks or straight? Coke or Pepsi?

Paper or plastic? Automatic or manual? Briefs or boxers? Fold or crumple? Shoei or Arai? Metric or standard? Digital or analog? Window or aisle? Nylon tip or wood? IDE or SCSI? Own or rent? Gay or straight? Smoking or non? Real or silicon? vi or emacs?

Bad habit: reading the Sunday supplements. I admit it; I spend 20 minutes each week skimming through USA Weekend and Examiner Magazine and whatever the other one is, I don’t even remember.

There’s always a health or fitness column of some sort. It’s probably in USA Weekend because it’s so USA-Today-like — they boil a complex issue down into 4 bullet-items with a little cartoon illustration, thereby saving the population the need for higher education. They make it simple, so the reader never has to think.

These articles are oddly compelling. Like I said, I read them every weekend, mentally checking off each bullet-point as if the tally would predict something meaningful about my health. In the recent article about hemorrhoids, the bullet points under “prevention” included:

• drink lots of fluids
• avoid meat and dairy
• exercise regularly
• eat high-fiber foods

I read through them all, feeling better with each item — “I already do all that!” I exclaimed aloud. Clearly, I’ll never get hemorrhoids.

So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

Three unrelated bits of music trivia that combine to make me irrationally happy:

• Dream Theater is in the studio, recording a new album
• RUSH is in the studio, recording a new album
• Tim Alexander (Primus, Attention Deficit) has joined the Blue Man Group